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ain't nobody
Jan. 18th, 2010 11:00 pmWaiting for the bus home from work.
I have a new job; I actually started before the new year. I missed the interview because Metro Transit is scared of snow (?!), but got the job anyway. I'm now working part time in my old lab in Neuroscience, keeping the lab going while we wait for word on the new-new-new-grant for which I *just* finished the last bit of data analysis, and part time in a Pediatrics lab studying perinatal iron deficiency.
I had really been looking forward to unemployment, in a weird way, as a kind of closure to the past year and a half of getting dragged through the mud by the NSF and not knowing more than a month in advance if I'd still be employed. And as a fucking vacation. I finally just took some time off, since the Neurosci experiments take a lot of waiting and most of the new lab was on vacation anyway. Watched some Star Trek. Hung out.
Turns out it was good timing, because the next week I found out that my uncle has rectal cancer. I don't know how to express to most people how close my family is, and it doesn't feel like people understand how much he means to me, because really, how many people are close to their uncles? But this is the guy I spend weeks in the wilderness with. He is one of the people who has most shaped who I am and who I want to be, and cancer is going to interfere with his life in pretty much the worst way possible, and I'm scared of how sad it is going to make him and how passive he is, which is usually a benefit in dealing with my family but probably not when dealing with cancer.
The logic follows, then, that my family is the opposite of cancer.
Why does this not make me feel better?
the hedge abides.
I have a new job; I actually started before the new year. I missed the interview because Metro Transit is scared of snow (?!), but got the job anyway. I'm now working part time in my old lab in Neuroscience, keeping the lab going while we wait for word on the new-new-new-grant for which I *just* finished the last bit of data analysis, and part time in a Pediatrics lab studying perinatal iron deficiency.
I had really been looking forward to unemployment, in a weird way, as a kind of closure to the past year and a half of getting dragged through the mud by the NSF and not knowing more than a month in advance if I'd still be employed. And as a fucking vacation. I finally just took some time off, since the Neurosci experiments take a lot of waiting and most of the new lab was on vacation anyway. Watched some Star Trek. Hung out.
Turns out it was good timing, because the next week I found out that my uncle has rectal cancer. I don't know how to express to most people how close my family is, and it doesn't feel like people understand how much he means to me, because really, how many people are close to their uncles? But this is the guy I spend weeks in the wilderness with. He is one of the people who has most shaped who I am and who I want to be, and cancer is going to interfere with his life in pretty much the worst way possible, and I'm scared of how sad it is going to make him and how passive he is, which is usually a benefit in dealing with my family but probably not when dealing with cancer.
The logic follows, then, that my family is the opposite of cancer.
Why does this not make me feel better?
the hedge abides.
